Beyond the boundaries of imagination and despite of what he/she thinks, I am who I am and I will speak my mind . I would love it if my dear reader would avoid paying attention to my identity or my religious background. Consider me as a human who is seeking peace, justice and freedom. I will include my identity at the end of this journey with hints and indications once you agree to hear me until I finish.
I was born like any child maybe I can remember few incidents that can bring my memories back to the age three or four but the most I can remember is horror and nothing has been changed since then while now I’m at the age of thirty eight.
I can rarely count how many sweet nights I’ve had without any interruption of soldier’s foot steps on my family’s roof top along with sound bombs or heavy duty flash explosive devices. Usually on a different part of the earth, our sleep get interrupted by sky lightning, hail and thunder storms.
I can understand that the only exception of that are the criminals but what a house of 4 or 6 including elder men, women and children are doing while they are asleep.
Beside that is the road to school; the whole entire scholastic year, we can never guarantee to come home safe and so many classmates never made it home! They got shot because the road to school was claimed as terrorist area and to avoid that we should remain home. I always seek peace, because I was like every child who wants to play with his toys, do some drawings, sing for his land, and read his history. I always wanted to take my bike for a ride but we always had monitoring stations on the roof tops within each alley. By the way I was born in a refugee camp and in the area of 1.5 kilometers , twenty five thousands people live there with lack of sewage system, running water, no electricity along with roof tops made of zinc.
Someone told me that our parents taught us to hate during our childhood; however there is nothing to like about our life. Most of you are familiar of how a child act when he/she is crying for cheer. For example, someone to take them for a walk or provide them with a space to play or sleep time without interruption. How can my parent take me for a walk and the alley is occupied by soldiers who are ready to take action and start shooting.
The natural answer by any mother regardless if she is French. Swedish, or American is nothing but the fact !the question was by her child; why Am I living here? Can’t you take me to a better place? A better place meaning is outside of your homeland. Away from the connectivity of your ancestors and grand parents.
Maybe the culture of America and Europe cant figure out the true meaning of that, because most of us are immigrants who seek religious freedom and ran away from those who turned our homeland into ethnic cleansing.
Why do I have to run away from a land I can at least recall the 10th generation of my family. Am I allowed to take someone’s home at any time and say :hey I think based on a book issued by my government that I must live here but I must kick you out of your house and guess what! I can’t guarantee your safety if you stay around or if you don’t believe me I will inform you about the latest massacre happened to people like you who refused to flee. Wow what a choice for a mother of a father with their children ? I would like to hear your answer because I don’t have a choice if I were in my parent’s shoes.
Basically, our town had 3000 of them and 4000 of us. For example, Chicago , New York or Los Anglos have diversity of different ethnic and religious groups . They all live together and accepted each others under the term I treat you as you treat me and Law is the only action I would take against you. I wont threat your existence .However this never applied on my situation and I will explain to you why toward the end of this journey.
My name is Jalal and I grew up in Balata refugee camp. I was always an honor and top student on my class .I managed to finish school with all this horror but lost 10 classmates during this bloody journey.
During my high school phase, Israel has closed down the schools because someone threw a stone on one of their military car. On 10th grade, we only studied for 2 months and 11th grade 4 months then the final year is 5 months. We would be ready to put our clothes on so we can walk to our school; however the loudspeakers going off calling for curfew and only until the moment we are ready to step outside the house .
I chose to leave the whole country for the sake of long night of sleep without any fear that someone might invade the house and get shot because the soldiers can’t take a chance that might be a civilian sinking in his/her sleep .
The quick reaction by the Israeli diplomats, the Israeli army has opened an investigation but those civilians were sleeping in the area where terrorists might operate! This statement only if the victims are children , women, or elder men but if the victims were youth then the automatic response is terrorist unless proven wrong by an international camera men.
The story continues, Israel still occupying the land, concerns never end and fear will never vanish from their mind.
If Israel is convinced that this land belongs to them that is fine but not to believe in the existence and the rights for the Palestinians to live then the fear will never go.
If you threat then you are a threat so that fear exist. If you seek peace then you have to look for the future and forget the past otherwise how could blacks and whites live together in United States!
At the End, I don’t blame Israel! I blame the world community who refused the South African government who was doing ethnic cleansing and cant force Israel to comply with its resolutions.
Regardless of what single person or few factions do but don’t forget that there are innocent women, men, and children who wants to live and see their children grow.
On this earth we deserve to live and practice our rights without ifs and buts.
Jalal Jaber..Palestinian living in USA
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